La Lunatica

After I have posted that blog entry below, he texted me. He wanted us to talk.

I immediately went out of the internet cafe and met him at the ‘place’. We talked; I don’t even get mad. I’m not the ‘nagger-type’ of girl. I just wanted him to explain everything to me; I needed that closure so much. I, too, explained how i feel. How bitter I am. How ungrateful he has been to me. How unbearable this pain really is.

We’ve been talking since 1 in the afternoon. He retracted all the bitter words he have said few hours ago saying, “Nabigla lang ako”. I never thought of that reconciliation… not that SOON. I mean, I started convincing myself that he’s JUST another used-to-be. He may be the best but he won’t definitely be the last man I’ll have. I got my friends with me; there’s nothing wrong about being single, anyway. But I can’t resist him; that sincere sorry. It took us one hour to fix it all out.

I attended my class. We went home together. I don’t feel okay and he was disappointed. I told him not to be. I know he understands… Well, he should!

The moment I went to bed, his voice resounds in my head, “Alam mo, kahit na anong gawin at sabihin mo, hindi mo ako makukumbinseng iwan mo ‘ko!” I went out of the house; spent my time in the yard sitting on the swing, gazing at the moon and the stars. I felt peace. A metaphorical thought suddenly popped-up from my mind and I shared it with him via SMS.

“Repz, nakita mo ba ‘yong buwan? Ang ganda noh?! Kung mapapansin mo, ang kuripot niyang magbigay ng liwanag ngayon. Pero hindi ka dapat magtampo, dapat nga magpasalamat ka pa kasi may liwanag pa kahit pa’no. Tingnan mo, hindi naman niya talaga ginustong ipagdamot ‘yong ngiti niya eh, nahaharangan lang talaga siya ng kung ano. Makikita mo pa rin ‘yong kabuuang bilog niya, ‘di ba?! At madilim ‘yon… kakarampot lang ang naibibigay niyang liwanag. Maghintay ka lang, malay mo, bukas-makalawa buong-buo na ulit niyang maipagkakaloob ang liwanag niya.”

This time, I went to bed again and slept peacefully.